It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot (1819 - 1880)

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been writing stories and poems. I can't remember a time when I haven't used it as outlet for my emotions, or wrote so much I filled up a notebook. Somedays I wish I had kept these writings, and other days I'm happy they're gone. Most of those writings, if I were to look at them today, I would have a different perspective on my life. The person I was would be a stranger to me, especially when I was in my downard spirl in my late teens to early 20s. I'm not sure if I met this person today if I'd want to acknowledge them, but ask them why they did such stupid things. Then, after hearing what they've been through, I might understand.

I've been an on-and-off journaler for about the last 15 years. I do it heavily when my life gets really down and I find I need God more. I've never cut God out completely, but I'm confused on my religion right now. I know he's there, and I know he loves me--it's just I grew up with unclear examples of what Christianity really meant to an individual. Someday I hope to figure this out, and I hope God will help me with it.

I'd began to stray from God about eight years ago, and 3 years ago I realized I need him back in my life. It was then that I blacked out behind the wheel of my car due to a seizure. I was in the middle of a cornfield, and in all rationality I should've died. My survival is proof that there is a God because he has a plan for me that's not yet finished. It's not only the accident, though. I had a seizure as a baby and a 104 temperature for 3 days. If there wasn't a God, I believe I wouldn't be here.

I'm not exactly sure who God wants me to be yet. I know I love writing and it's the talent that he gave me. Seizures are also a big part of my life because I've had them my entire life. I've struggled in almost everything I do and have done.

In 2 years, I plan to graduate with my B.A. in Journalism. I feel as I'm following my dream and this is part of God's master plan for me. I feel as if I'm meant to be a professional writer, and I love what I'm currently doing. Whatever God has planned, I'm ready for an adventure.